Toxic Relationships

So, today I wanted to write something that just came into my mind recently. It's a situation that has been happening for a while, and though I talk it out, it just never seems like anything is being done. I don't know how many readers I have here, but I want to get the word out as far as I can about toxic relationships.

I have a friend who we shall call Dan. Dan has a girlfriend/fiance/whatever (because I just don't know what to believe) and we will call her Joan. Dan is a sweet guy. I'm obviously biased in his favor, and I know this. But he really is a gentle and loving person. He always puts other people first, and this includes every fight and argument with Joan. Joan is very manipulative. She seems very fake and self centered when we talk. It's always about her, and if the topic delves into something about me or Fiance, she has to bring it back around to her.

I've only ever known Dan through Fiance, because they were friends first. Dan has only ever been helpful and kind in any situation. Joan hasn't been outright mean to me, but I guess she has with Fiance and she says things behind our backs? Although that's just hearsay, so what can I really know for sure?

Dan and Joan have "broken up" a few times since I've known them. Once, Dan had packed up his things and had  moved the things into Fiance's (at the time, just Boyfriend) house. He ended up going back with Joan, but both Fiance and I agree that was probably a mistake.

Most recently, Joan had posted a few times on a social networking site saying things like, "Oh, I just don't know if it's worth it" and other hints that she was ready to break up with Dan. They ended up breaking up that night, but were back together by the next day. Joan's new posts were of hopeful reconciliations with Dan  and how they "will work this out, though it won't be easy/fast." Paraphrasing is amazing, by the way.

In these two scenarios along with others that I don't feel like numbing your minds with, Dan has initiated the break up. And if you remember I said that he is someone who puts others first - always. For someone like him to initiate a break up is saying so much about that other person.

And now to the advice. I don't know you, or your situation. I don't have a personal connection to you right now. I'm just some girl typing on a blog that floats around, mainly unnoticed, through the internet. But I do know that everyone has a right to be treated with respect. I don't care what you've done in your past, if you are willing to change your past mistakes/actions and be a better person, there's no reason to not be given a second chance. That being said, don't keep making the same mistakes!

Don't be like Joan - Don't keep pushing your S.O. to the brink of separation and then rekindling after you realize that you were wrong. Accept that you aren't perfect, and your S.O. isn't perfect, and life isn't perfect. People make mistakes, they act on emotions over logic, and sometimes they are wrong.

A successful relationship is worth all the lonely nights, the stupid arguments over nothing, the bad, the ugly and anything you've ever been through. A successful relationship will make you realize that you aren't here alone. But when you're with a toxic person feeding you poison in your relationship, you're going to feel alone and wrong and just awful all the time. That's not what life and love are about.