So my title is super original, I know.
Turns out, we don't get many trick-or-treaters around where I work. I mean, it's dead end street, not a lot of other houses giving out candy, so I get it.
Well, last night at dinner, I was telling the ladies that if we have leftover candy, the basket will be set on the steps and they can pick at it until the candy is all gone. Well, looks like they've gotten a head start on it. LOL! There's hardly anything in the basket now and it's only 4:30.
Side story, that lady that's been driving me nuts came down and asked to use my cell phone. I said I suppose and she asked to use it in the library (which is inside the CJP). I said Yeah, that's fine. Then she tried to let me let her out on the back porch with it. I said no, but what I meant was, No because I don't want you out wandering around with something that is expensive and not yours...
Anyway, as far as I know she's in the library. Lord knows how long she'll be on the phone! LOL I hope Fiance texts me or something and it whistles in her ears!!! XD I feel mean, I should stop.
Also, I'm a cat.
Happy Halloween!!!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Night Ruiner
Last night was going to be a long one anyway... Fiance wanted to go to the midnight release of a game that he had preordered and asked me to come with him. So, that was fine. Then his friend had just been dumped so we went to talk with his friend for a bit. Then, guess who marches over to us (2 unknown guys and 1 girl(me) who she wasn't even sure of who I was)? That's right -- the lady I've been having problems with at work.
Well, it's not just me. It's with all the staff members that she's causing problems. I said "Hi [lady]" which I shouldn't have, but what's done is done. She recognized me and got real nosy/judgmental real fast. She told me that Fiance and I are living in sin [because we're living together before we're married] and comparing us to her as if she's so perfect. She told Friend that he needed to zip up his hoodie, put on his hood and tie the strings and justified it because she has a son and that he was, not going to, catching pneumonia. She told Fiance, when she found out his grandparents were Irish-Catholic, "Bless you..." as if that's the only way to be. Then she discovered they were kicked out of/shunned from their church and got on her high horse again. Mind you, this was 12:30am. She went off about a lot of things, and eventually I had to say that we needed to go just to get away from her. But I also want to add that she said she worked at CJP to which I corrected her, "You live there. I work there, but that's where you live." She got mad (probably because I told her the truth and she hates that about me) and said, "Well, sort of. But we won't go into that."
Fiance thinks she has the classic beginning signs of dimensia. Wanting to wander, can't keep a story straight, arguing/judging, and then of course thinking that nothing is wrong with her. It makes sense to me now that I think about it. And he would know what that looks like seeing as he is a CNA and works with those kind of people all the time. The pretense before was that she was an alcoholic in her previous town/state, came here to get better and is falling back into that pattern. She does drink to the point where we can smell it on her breath, but not all the time. Dimensia makes a lot more sense.
Anyhow, she ruined my night. Not that she was overly obnoxious or that she was just being rude, but being around her stresses me out. Just reading the notes about her at work tenses me up. How can someone be so awful to other people? Other people who are just trying to care for you...
It's more obvious than ever to me that she can't live here anymore. She's already been served eviction papers, and apparently more action is being taken as I write this, but who knows how long she's going to be here? No one. Not even her. It sucks that she's in a place of control right now, because she could leave, but she won't. Nobody thinks she has a lawyer like she says, and that she's actually just pushing her luck by staying here; seeing how long she really can stay.
She says she's leaving soon. She'll say things like, "I might see you next week, but I might be gone by then." But she's always here.
She's just crazy. I can't wait until she's out of my life...
Well, it's not just me. It's with all the staff members that she's causing problems. I said "Hi [lady]" which I shouldn't have, but what's done is done. She recognized me and got real nosy/judgmental real fast. She told me that Fiance and I are living in sin [because we're living together before we're married] and comparing us to her as if she's so perfect. She told Friend that he needed to zip up his hoodie, put on his hood and tie the strings and justified it because she has a son and that he was, not going to, catching pneumonia. She told Fiance, when she found out his grandparents were Irish-Catholic, "Bless you..." as if that's the only way to be. Then she discovered they were kicked out of/shunned from their church and got on her high horse again. Mind you, this was 12:30am. She went off about a lot of things, and eventually I had to say that we needed to go just to get away from her. But I also want to add that she said she worked at CJP to which I corrected her, "You live there. I work there, but that's where you live." She got mad (probably because I told her the truth and she hates that about me) and said, "Well, sort of. But we won't go into that."
Fiance thinks she has the classic beginning signs of dimensia. Wanting to wander, can't keep a story straight, arguing/judging, and then of course thinking that nothing is wrong with her. It makes sense to me now that I think about it. And he would know what that looks like seeing as he is a CNA and works with those kind of people all the time. The pretense before was that she was an alcoholic in her previous town/state, came here to get better and is falling back into that pattern. She does drink to the point where we can smell it on her breath, but not all the time. Dimensia makes a lot more sense.
Anyhow, she ruined my night. Not that she was overly obnoxious or that she was just being rude, but being around her stresses me out. Just reading the notes about her at work tenses me up. How can someone be so awful to other people? Other people who are just trying to care for you...
It's more obvious than ever to me that she can't live here anymore. She's already been served eviction papers, and apparently more action is being taken as I write this, but who knows how long she's going to be here? No one. Not even her. It sucks that she's in a place of control right now, because she could leave, but she won't. Nobody thinks she has a lawyer like she says, and that she's actually just pushing her luck by staying here; seeing how long she really can stay.
She says she's leaving soon. She'll say things like, "I might see you next week, but I might be gone by then." But she's always here.
She's just crazy. I can't wait until she's out of my life...
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
So Much Stress!
Our wedding is inching up on us me and it's freaking me out! It's still a while away, but it is getting closer and closer. In March 2013, it will be a year away! WHAT?! We still have to find a reception venue, and hopefully that deal gets closed within the next month or so. But then there's the vendors! Alas, this is my personal blog, not my wedding one, therefore we shall move on!
This woman at work is driving me nuts! I hate that I love this job so much. Otherwise, I would be out the door and not having to deal with all this crap! Rawr.
She literally is a totally different person. Something snapped within her, and I guess she sees a psychiatrist, so she's getting meds (that aren't working) but we all know her and that she's an actress in deception. She says there's nothing wrong with her. She says she isn't happy here. She says a lot of things, but either denies the truth or doesn't do anything about it.
She said there's nothing wrong with her. Lie. We can all see it. She isn't the same lady who moved in here over a year ago.
She says she isn't happy here. Maybe a truth, but if she's so unhappy, why stay? She's already been served eviction papers that have since expired, and I'm pretty sure she knows she isn't really welcomed home anymore. Whatever the next step is, the lawyer for this home is taking it.
I can't wait until she's gone.
All she does anymore is talk crap about my grandma to the staff and probably the ladies who also live here. She tells me that she's got some cheap vendors for me and my fiance's wedding, but never gives out the names or numbers to call. She jabbers on and on about how this place would be doing so much better if the ladies could have a key to let themselves in, about how it feels like a prison cell within the house, about how she has a social life which is why she stays out until 5am.
I'm sorry, but first of all, my grandma has been nothing but kind to you. She has remained kind to you and has fought the idea of kicking you out for a very VERY long time. The other ladies living here aren't having the same "problems" with Grandma because they are RESPECTING her and her staff members.
If you've got these cheap vendors, why are you withholding their information? Is it to try and keep yourself around, as if I have pull in who stays or goes because my grandma is boss? Coz I don't. Is it just because you like messing with me? And if that's true, why? I've been mad that you come home late and that you don't feel it's right the way this home works, but I've ALWAYS been respectful. You make me sound like I'm some kind of bitchy teenager but I've never been that way. I've only ever pointed out the truth and you don't like that. I know you don't, but you need to hear it sometimes.
If you want to take a look at the amount of ladies living her versus the room available, here: 8 ladies (including you) living here with a total of 11 rooms. Seems pretty full to me. This place only doesn't do well [in a sense] because most elderly women need the CNA and nurse special care and we don't offer that. It's not because the ladies don't have keys.
And another thing about the keys, there aren't any. Do you ever stop to think why there is a staff member here 24 hours a day? It's because there are no keys. We don't have them, the doors don't allow for them, and it's silly to think replacing the doors would be a good idea. The doors are part of the mansion, why replace them to satisfy your thirst for rebellion? Which that wouldn't even work, I don't think, because you're so caught up in fighting with everyone that if you got that going for you, you'd find something else to complain about.
And last but not least, you have a social life. That's fantastic. We're all happy for you that, despite the way you're acting, you can still have friends and family willing to hang out with you. However, every other lady, staff member, and person in the world has a social life. The ladies just don't stay out until 6am without calling or previously saying that they'll be out that late. I'm not a CNA or a nurse. I'm not paid to stay up the entire 16 hours of my shift waiting for you to return. Sorry bout it, but I'm not. That's fine to have a social life, but let's also throw some respect into that equation. Respect for the staff member who has to be woken up at 3am to let you in and deal with you, and respect for your fellow roommates. They go to bed early, and they have to hear that doorbell or phone ring, too.
Furthermore, when you keep me up waiting for your call or doorbell, you affect the entire rest of my day. I get less sleep, sleep longer at home, have less time to do anything, and then have to come back to work and do it all over again. I know you probably don't think that far ahead, but that's what happens. You get to come home at 6am and sleep until noon, whereas you come home at 6am, I stay up until the cook comes at 7am, and go home to try to sleep. If I get to sleep, I'll stay asleep until 1pm-2pm, wake up, eat something, shower/whatever, and come to work. Do you know how annoying that is to waste my day while you get to do whatever you want? It's not fair and it's disrespectful. All of it.
All of your behavior is disrespectful and that's why you're getting kicked out. That's why you're having all these people "turn on you" even though we haven't. We just can't deal with you. We can't handle you. We aren't trained to deal with the types of behaviors you are exhibiting. End of story.
So, now that that's off my chest, there's one more thing that's stressing me out beyond belief. And I know it's all in my head. But... I can't lose this weight. I can't get myself outside to go running, or get myself exercising in any way. I know that I just need to do it, end of story. It's just getting so much easier to make excuses and that sucks, because I'm really good at convincing myself to not do something that I really don't want to do...
Boo :(
This woman at work is driving me nuts! I hate that I love this job so much. Otherwise, I would be out the door and not having to deal with all this crap! Rawr.
She literally is a totally different person. Something snapped within her, and I guess she sees a psychiatrist, so she's getting meds (that aren't working) but we all know her and that she's an actress in deception. She says there's nothing wrong with her. She says she isn't happy here. She says a lot of things, but either denies the truth or doesn't do anything about it.
She said there's nothing wrong with her. Lie. We can all see it. She isn't the same lady who moved in here over a year ago.
She says she isn't happy here. Maybe a truth, but if she's so unhappy, why stay? She's already been served eviction papers that have since expired, and I'm pretty sure she knows she isn't really welcomed home anymore. Whatever the next step is, the lawyer for this home is taking it.
I can't wait until she's gone.
All she does anymore is talk crap about my grandma to the staff and probably the ladies who also live here. She tells me that she's got some cheap vendors for me and my fiance's wedding, but never gives out the names or numbers to call. She jabbers on and on about how this place would be doing so much better if the ladies could have a key to let themselves in, about how it feels like a prison cell within the house, about how she has a social life which is why she stays out until 5am.
I'm sorry, but first of all, my grandma has been nothing but kind to you. She has remained kind to you and has fought the idea of kicking you out for a very VERY long time. The other ladies living here aren't having the same "problems" with Grandma because they are RESPECTING her and her staff members.
If you've got these cheap vendors, why are you withholding their information? Is it to try and keep yourself around, as if I have pull in who stays or goes because my grandma is boss? Coz I don't. Is it just because you like messing with me? And if that's true, why? I've been mad that you come home late and that you don't feel it's right the way this home works, but I've ALWAYS been respectful. You make me sound like I'm some kind of bitchy teenager but I've never been that way. I've only ever pointed out the truth and you don't like that. I know you don't, but you need to hear it sometimes.
If you want to take a look at the amount of ladies living her versus the room available, here: 8 ladies (including you) living here with a total of 11 rooms. Seems pretty full to me. This place only doesn't do well [in a sense] because most elderly women need the CNA and nurse special care and we don't offer that. It's not because the ladies don't have keys.
And another thing about the keys, there aren't any. Do you ever stop to think why there is a staff member here 24 hours a day? It's because there are no keys. We don't have them, the doors don't allow for them, and it's silly to think replacing the doors would be a good idea. The doors are part of the mansion, why replace them to satisfy your thirst for rebellion? Which that wouldn't even work, I don't think, because you're so caught up in fighting with everyone that if you got that going for you, you'd find something else to complain about.
And last but not least, you have a social life. That's fantastic. We're all happy for you that, despite the way you're acting, you can still have friends and family willing to hang out with you. However, every other lady, staff member, and person in the world has a social life. The ladies just don't stay out until 6am without calling or previously saying that they'll be out that late. I'm not a CNA or a nurse. I'm not paid to stay up the entire 16 hours of my shift waiting for you to return. Sorry bout it, but I'm not. That's fine to have a social life, but let's also throw some respect into that equation. Respect for the staff member who has to be woken up at 3am to let you in and deal with you, and respect for your fellow roommates. They go to bed early, and they have to hear that doorbell or phone ring, too.
Furthermore, when you keep me up waiting for your call or doorbell, you affect the entire rest of my day. I get less sleep, sleep longer at home, have less time to do anything, and then have to come back to work and do it all over again. I know you probably don't think that far ahead, but that's what happens. You get to come home at 6am and sleep until noon, whereas you come home at 6am, I stay up until the cook comes at 7am, and go home to try to sleep. If I get to sleep, I'll stay asleep until 1pm-2pm, wake up, eat something, shower/whatever, and come to work. Do you know how annoying that is to waste my day while you get to do whatever you want? It's not fair and it's disrespectful. All of it.
All of your behavior is disrespectful and that's why you're getting kicked out. That's why you're having all these people "turn on you" even though we haven't. We just can't deal with you. We can't handle you. We aren't trained to deal with the types of behaviors you are exhibiting. End of story.
So, now that that's off my chest, there's one more thing that's stressing me out beyond belief. And I know it's all in my head. But... I can't lose this weight. I can't get myself outside to go running, or get myself exercising in any way. I know that I just need to do it, end of story. It's just getting so much easier to make excuses and that sucks, because I'm really good at convincing myself to not do something that I really don't want to do...
Boo :(
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
It started raining about an hour ago and it's always great to have rain. But it just started storming and it's super freaky to me.
I know that I don't like thunder because it's startling and scary. Lightning isn't too bad, but when it's close I'm scared. Plus the eerie nature of storms - the green-grey hue and the overall darkness... *shudder*
Though I do have to say, it'll be a perfect night to watch American Horror Story: Asylum! I'm really happy to see the series come back, and you know it's also recording at home so I'll get to be spooked out as much as I want. :)
I know that I don't like thunder because it's startling and scary. Lightning isn't too bad, but when it's close I'm scared. Plus the eerie nature of storms - the green-grey hue and the overall darkness... *shudder*
Though I do have to say, it'll be a perfect night to watch American Horror Story: Asylum! I'm really happy to see the series come back, and you know it's also recording at home so I'll get to be spooked out as much as I want. :)
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Weight Loss Goals & Measurements
As you may or may not know, I've been struggling with my weight and liking my body for a very long time. Today was a wake up call for me, and I am starting right now to get on track. My ultimate goal is to be happy with my body and how I look. My long term goal is to be happy with my body and weight by March 22nd, 2014. My shorter term goal is to lose a few pounds before May 3rd, 2013. And finally, my short term goals will probably forever be the same. But they are to not cheat, and to exercise 3 times a week.
My weight and measurements are a little questionable right now. I haven't weighed myself in a week or so and I used masking tape and a straight ruler to take my current measurements. I am improvising because I want to write this all out tonight so I can't change my mind later.
Estimated Weight: 162 lbs
Forearms: 10 inches
Upper Arms: 13 inches
Bust: 38 inches
Chest: 35 inches
Waist: 34.5 inches
Hips: 44 inches
Thighs: 21 inches
Calves: 15 inches
What I don't like about myself:
This might become weightloss-obsessed, and for that I am sorry. But thanks for reading anyway :)
My weight and measurements are a little questionable right now. I haven't weighed myself in a week or so and I used masking tape and a straight ruler to take my current measurements. I am improvising because I want to write this all out tonight so I can't change my mind later.
Estimated Weight: 162 lbs
Forearms: 10 inches
Upper Arms: 13 inches
Bust: 38 inches
Chest: 35 inches
Waist: 34.5 inches
Hips: 44 inches
Thighs: 21 inches
Calves: 15 inches
What I don't like about myself:
- upper arm flab
- the fat around my hips
- back rolls
- stomach rolls
This might become weightloss-obsessed, and for that I am sorry. But thanks for reading anyway :)
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Aggravation!
Freaking grr! Everything is just stressing me out lately.
First, I've got the wedding/reception on my mind. Fiance has given us a $5,000 max. budget for us to spend. First it was $10,000, then $8,000, now $5,000. Not that I want to spend more money - because I'm all for saving. But it's like, all this saving that we have to do is not working for him. Like, he wants alcohol so bad at our reception. IF we could eliminate that, we could save not only the venue fee to rent (because the church is free, just doesn't allow alcohol), but on food (potentially) and the actual bill of having a bartender. Plus it's going to be in March so who knows what the weather will be like to drive in...
Second, my BFF is moving and freaking out about it. She, her hubs and her baby are moving back into her old house (the one she grew up in) because her parents are moving to Missouri. They get the house for free, won't have to pay any mortgages or house payments, and only have to pay utilities and taxes at the end of the year. They will save tons of money, but she just has never felt like that was a home to her. It's always been an unwelcome but familiar place and nothing more. It only bugs me that she's so bummed about having to live there to save up money. Plus it's a town away (20 minutes) so that makes me sad too. We had a good thing going with our jogging. Now we have to start all over AND waste more gas to do it together.
Third, and [embarrassingly] most stressful, is my own body/self image. I had to quit jogging after I sprained my ankle. I waited it out for 6 weeks, just to be sure. I was pretty good about diet and I didn't gain anything until I was about to get my period the other week. I gained 5 pounds, bringing me to 160 - a number I never wanted to see again in my life. I thought, oh, I'll just wait it out... It's water weight. But I was still eating tons of food that I wasn't even hungry for. It's just all stress. I tried jogging by myself, but honestly our new neighborhood isn't set up well for joggers. I tried doing Wii Zumba again, and I did okay, but it is hard work. Now I'm back to seeing myself as that fat, unworthy girl in the mirror again. Unworthy of what? Just everything.
But to take care of the looming depression associated with my bad self image, I have started on a diet again. I upped my calorie intake to 1500 so I don't feel so bad if I go over. And, I realized that if I eat less than 2000, I still am projected to lose weight. Today I had oatmeal and a skinny cow ice cream bar and will have a turkey sandwich for dinner. It's not a lot of calories, so I'm thinking about what foods will make me feel full but also not push me over my limit. Tomorrow, I was going to work out, but BFF needs me to read her rough draft paper for English. I don't really get why, because she'll have a peer review done on it anyway, and everyone's opinions are different, but I'll still do it.
First, I've got the wedding/reception on my mind. Fiance has given us a $5,000 max. budget for us to spend. First it was $10,000, then $8,000, now $5,000. Not that I want to spend more money - because I'm all for saving. But it's like, all this saving that we have to do is not working for him. Like, he wants alcohol so bad at our reception. IF we could eliminate that, we could save not only the venue fee to rent (because the church is free, just doesn't allow alcohol), but on food (potentially) and the actual bill of having a bartender. Plus it's going to be in March so who knows what the weather will be like to drive in...
Second, my BFF is moving and freaking out about it. She, her hubs and her baby are moving back into her old house (the one she grew up in) because her parents are moving to Missouri. They get the house for free, won't have to pay any mortgages or house payments, and only have to pay utilities and taxes at the end of the year. They will save tons of money, but she just has never felt like that was a home to her. It's always been an unwelcome but familiar place and nothing more. It only bugs me that she's so bummed about having to live there to save up money. Plus it's a town away (20 minutes) so that makes me sad too. We had a good thing going with our jogging. Now we have to start all over AND waste more gas to do it together.
Third, and [embarrassingly] most stressful, is my own body/self image. I had to quit jogging after I sprained my ankle. I waited it out for 6 weeks, just to be sure. I was pretty good about diet and I didn't gain anything until I was about to get my period the other week. I gained 5 pounds, bringing me to 160 - a number I never wanted to see again in my life. I thought, oh, I'll just wait it out... It's water weight. But I was still eating tons of food that I wasn't even hungry for. It's just all stress. I tried jogging by myself, but honestly our new neighborhood isn't set up well for joggers. I tried doing Wii Zumba again, and I did okay, but it is hard work. Now I'm back to seeing myself as that fat, unworthy girl in the mirror again. Unworthy of what? Just everything.
But to take care of the looming depression associated with my bad self image, I have started on a diet again. I upped my calorie intake to 1500 so I don't feel so bad if I go over. And, I realized that if I eat less than 2000, I still am projected to lose weight. Today I had oatmeal and a skinny cow ice cream bar and will have a turkey sandwich for dinner. It's not a lot of calories, so I'm thinking about what foods will make me feel full but also not push me over my limit. Tomorrow, I was going to work out, but BFF needs me to read her rough draft paper for English. I don't really get why, because she'll have a peer review done on it anyway, and everyone's opinions are different, but I'll still do it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)