Apparently, this question is null and void to my boyfriend. He told me the other day, while we were talking about me being accidentally vegetarian the past two weeks, that ultimately - he thinks "chubby is sexy" and I "could stand to gain a few pounds"... THE FUCK.
Before I get into anything else... My accidental vegetarian half month means that I just haven't eaten any meat. It's not that I'm trying, it's just what has happened without me thinking about it. I stepped on the scale today and I weigh 152.4 with clothes on before eating. I haven't been very hungry lately and I think it has to do with me not having a day off of work in like 2 weeks and counting. This new job has me working Tuesday through Friday and my other job has me working Saturday through Monday. No days off = exhausted me + money that I don't have any time to spend.
Back to the weight thing. It's really weird to me that he would say that I could stand to gain a few pounds. I'm not even skinny. Like, not even a little. It's sweet that he loves me enough that he doesn't really care what I look like anymore and doesn't pressure me into being a certain weight/way/anything. I love that he loves me for who I am and what I look like. But the fact that we (re)met when I was 130/135 is weird that he's now decided that chubby is sexy. Maybe he's just gotten so used to me being chubby that he feels I'm sexy? I don't know. But it's weird.
I feel conflicted. Do I care about my weight? Not really. Do I care about what my boyfriend thinks about my appearance? Well, yeah. Do I want to be healthier? Yes.
I think that, ultimately, I'm just going to get my way with this. Even though I'm not trying, I like that I'm losing weight and that I can see a difference. I mean, it is my body after all. He's not so fickle that he'll leave me because he thinks I'm not sexy anymore.
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